Monday, 11 July 2011
Changes
The editor has planned a few changes to the site during this week which may lead to errors when trying to connect. The editor thanks you for your patience whilst these structual changes take place. Any questions or queries regarding these changes can be emailed to pmpope16@hotmail.co.uk
Earn Money?, Sell body fat! ( Please note: Overweight people may find this article offensive)
Now that i've completed and published my fatties report I feel it's time to extend more into fatties but relating to the overall aim of this site, provide unbiased financial instruction.
This has led me on to today's idea! Sell human body fat, disgusting yet beneficial, and here's the plan:
1- Find a fatty that wants to shed a few pounds.
2- Give him loads of morphine and put his stomach in a shredder.
3- Shred the unwanted fat off
4- Tie him/her back together.
Now you've done the hardest and most gruesome part it's time to sell the fat. There are a number of potential buyers and uses:
1- Zoo's for animal consumption
2- Haribo sweets
3- Deep frie's grease oil
4- Cleaning Products
You see, human fat can be beneficial in certain cases, yet ninety per cent of the time it just causes natural disasters. Today i've at least done some justice to our fatties and opened up a new avenue, for them to get slim, and you to get rich!
This has led me on to today's idea! Sell human body fat, disgusting yet beneficial, and here's the plan:
1- Find a fatty that wants to shed a few pounds.
2- Give him loads of morphine and put his stomach in a shredder.
3- Shred the unwanted fat off
4- Tie him/her back together.
Now you've done the hardest and most gruesome part it's time to sell the fat. There are a number of potential buyers and uses:
1- Zoo's for animal consumption
2- Haribo sweets
3- Deep frie's grease oil
4- Cleaning Products
You see, human fat can be beneficial in certain cases, yet ninety per cent of the time it just causes natural disasters. Today i've at least done some justice to our fatties and opened up a new avenue, for them to get slim, and you to get rich!
Saturday, 9 July 2011
UPDATE
The editor would like to apologise for the lack of updates recently, but due to other commitments hasn't found the time. He has many ideas to unleash and will update the site as soon as possible. The editor has expressed his willingless to listen to his readers ideas, and will consider any that come his way. Any suggestions can be emailed to pmpope16@hotmail.co.uk and he will strive to get back to you, but due to the volume of messages, this isn't always feastible.
The editor would like to thank his continued loyal readers, and hopes that you will continue to read his blog and may have some very interesting news for you all soon.
Many Thanks,
Senior editor and team
The editor would like to thank his continued loyal readers, and hopes that you will continue to read his blog and may have some very interesting news for you all soon.
Many Thanks,
Senior editor and team
Wednesday, 6 July 2011
Raccoons = Money?
Raccoons are (believe it or not) very intelligent animals, and in fact there is a lot of money to be made from them, if you control them right.
Raccoons are officially stated as a 'partially endangered species', meaning really there is probably quite a lot of them, the fuckers just couldn't be bothered to research properly.
The question here is how to make money from raccoons but the answer is surprisingly simple. You get a male and female raccoon, make them breed (selective breeding - what Chinese people do). You wait till raccoons are officially labelled as extinct (by now you should have a 1000 raccoons in your shed), then sell each and every one to a different zoo for £10,000 each, meaning you have earnt a huge excess of money. This is actually a one of the better plans I've produced and I would recommend it to all. Now, where to find two raccoons? The wikipedia page suggests the roof of a semi-detached house in Germany but I'd be a bit more daring. Go to your local zoo, and raid the raccoon enclosure, stealing them ( hopefully without getting killed) and drive off, much like a getaway. The zoo will be delighted to get rid of the buggers and you've bagged yourself a fortune.
The editor will accept no responsibility for any raids on zoo's and reminds his readers that this is a purely comical element and is in no way encouraging readers to act upon his suggestions. The editor would also like to add that raccoons are a precious species and any attempt to injure or murder a raccoon will be dealt with very harshly. Any disagreements with the above article, or any general fucking suggestions can, as always, be emailed to pmpope16@hotmail.co.uk
a 1
Raccoons are officially stated as a 'partially endangered species', meaning really there is probably quite a lot of them, the fuckers just couldn't be bothered to research properly.
The question here is how to make money from raccoons but the answer is surprisingly simple. You get a male and female raccoon, make them breed (selective breeding - what Chinese people do). You wait till raccoons are officially labelled as extinct (by now you should have a 1000 raccoons in your shed), then sell each and every one to a different zoo for £10,000 each, meaning you have earnt a huge excess of money. This is actually a one of the better plans I've produced and I would recommend it to all. Now, where to find two raccoons? The wikipedia page suggests the roof of a semi-detached house in Germany but I'd be a bit more daring. Go to your local zoo, and raid the raccoon enclosure, stealing them ( hopefully without getting killed) and drive off, much like a getaway. The zoo will be delighted to get rid of the buggers and you've bagged yourself a fortune.
The editor will accept no responsibility for any raids on zoo's and reminds his readers that this is a purely comical element and is in no way encouraging readers to act upon his suggestions. The editor would also like to add that raccoons are a precious species and any attempt to injure or murder a raccoon will be dealt with very harshly. Any disagreements with the above article, or any general fucking suggestions can, as always, be emailed to pmpope16@hotmail.co.uk
a 1
Monday, 4 July 2011
Fatties: The Final Part
Global warming is one of the latest theories presented by scientists to explain the rapid heat rise on the Earth's surface. There is no doubt (in my mind at least) that this theory is correct but I slightly disagree with scientist's reasoning behind it!
They blame the burning of fossil fuels and the increasing level of pollution in the atmosphere but I find another cause, yes people, fatties.
Latest evidence conducted suggests that fat people releasing toxic gases produce as much pollution as fifty cars travelling at 50mph. Therefore the fatties are the real cause of the heat rise, but just how can we stop this rapid expansion of our Earth's resources?
1) Close all Fast- Food restraunts and re-open them as 'Leafdonalds' or ' Green King'.
2) Put a curfew on fat people, anyone over 35st cannot leave the house after 8pm, that way pollution at night is limited.
3) Open strict work camps for fatties
4) A new tax to be introduced, ' fattie tax' which will cater for their strain on society.
5) Compulsory fitness for all fatties until they go under 22st.
And this ends my report on fatties. Highly controversial yet bursting with influence and initiative.
* Please Note- My mention of work camps is in no way related to the Third Reich or their policies, and in no way endorses racist or neo-nazi behaviour, the camps would be only beneficial to the country and in no way follows the policy of ethnic cleansing ( obviously because this is based on flab, not skin colour).
Anybody that disagrees with the above article is as usual free to email pmpope16@hotmail.co.uk and he will strive to reply, but due to the high volume of feedback this is not always possible. Anyone that disagrees is statistically 96% less likely to get a response that a vote of support. * The above article is entirely the viewpoints of the chief editor and is in no way encouraging readers to take action based on his report*, the editor will accept no responsibly for attacks on overweight people and encourages fatties to undertake a process of constant vigilance.
They blame the burning of fossil fuels and the increasing level of pollution in the atmosphere but I find another cause, yes people, fatties.
Latest evidence conducted suggests that fat people releasing toxic gases produce as much pollution as fifty cars travelling at 50mph. Therefore the fatties are the real cause of the heat rise, but just how can we stop this rapid expansion of our Earth's resources?
1) Close all Fast- Food restraunts and re-open them as 'Leafdonalds' or ' Green King'.
2) Put a curfew on fat people, anyone over 35st cannot leave the house after 8pm, that way pollution at night is limited.
3) Open strict work camps for fatties
4) A new tax to be introduced, ' fattie tax' which will cater for their strain on society.
5) Compulsory fitness for all fatties until they go under 22st.
And this ends my report on fatties. Highly controversial yet bursting with influence and initiative.
* Please Note- My mention of work camps is in no way related to the Third Reich or their policies, and in no way endorses racist or neo-nazi behaviour, the camps would be only beneficial to the country and in no way follows the policy of ethnic cleansing ( obviously because this is based on flab, not skin colour).
Anybody that disagrees with the above article is as usual free to email pmpope16@hotmail.co.uk and he will strive to reply, but due to the high volume of feedback this is not always possible. Anyone that disagrees is statistically 96% less likely to get a response that a vote of support. * The above article is entirely the viewpoints of the chief editor and is in no way encouraging readers to take action based on his report*, the editor will accept no responsibly for attacks on overweight people and encourages fatties to undertake a process of constant vigilance.
Sunday, 3 July 2011
Saturday, 2 July 2011
Fatties: The Full Report Part 2/3
They say a fat man never forgets his way to Burger King, just like a emo never forgets the way to the nearest blade. Fat people are unfortunately a part of everyday life, jamming up elevators, getting stuck in shop doors and in their most destructive moment, sinking the Titanic (the iceberg was just the cover story).
In between the anorexic and the colossal lie the normal sized human beings who have been starved of vital resources due to the greed and damaging aurora of the fat.
Thanks to the 40st monsters that prowl our streets, there are millions of people in Africa starving to death. The sheer ignorance and cruelness of our fatties has led to millions of deaths since the turn of the century overseas.
I say, as revenge we starve the fatties. Not so it leads to their deaths ( a little cruel ) but enough to make them realise the pain they're causing overseas whilst they scoff themselves with Angus Whoppers.
You see, fat people bring nothing to society except from a crowded NHS list and a goddamn few earthquakes, the most recent of which caused upto 20,000 deaths in Japan, all because Adele got in a strop when her diamonds went missing.
Now, fat celebrities are the worst. They not only scoff themselves with endless fat but they're loaded as well. Why, instead of buying out a fast-food chain do they not donate money to charity?
But in our world the fat prevails. The fat get everything, whilst the thin flounder. Check back in the next few days for part three and the shocking revelations listed below:
-Was the London Tube bombing caused by a bomb or a 50st giant farting?
-Was Osama Bin Laden killed by a US Navy Seal team or sat on by his bodyguard
This and more in the final installment of PM POPE's Fatties revelations.
Please Note - Any fat people that disagree and can untangle their hands from their rolls of gruesome fucking flab can email pmpope16@hotmail.co.uk, please note terms and conditions apply.
People over 40st are not obliged in any way to contact me or my associates and could face criminal prosecution if necessary. Please note your weight when sending any emails, any people suspected of giving bogus measurements will be reported to the Police. Don't worry, your facebook pics will say it all.
In between the anorexic and the colossal lie the normal sized human beings who have been starved of vital resources due to the greed and damaging aurora of the fat.
Thanks to the 40st monsters that prowl our streets, there are millions of people in Africa starving to death. The sheer ignorance and cruelness of our fatties has led to millions of deaths since the turn of the century overseas.
I say, as revenge we starve the fatties. Not so it leads to their deaths ( a little cruel ) but enough to make them realise the pain they're causing overseas whilst they scoff themselves with Angus Whoppers.
You see, fat people bring nothing to society except from a crowded NHS list and a goddamn few earthquakes, the most recent of which caused upto 20,000 deaths in Japan, all because Adele got in a strop when her diamonds went missing.
Now, fat celebrities are the worst. They not only scoff themselves with endless fat but they're loaded as well. Why, instead of buying out a fast-food chain do they not donate money to charity?
But in our world the fat prevails. The fat get everything, whilst the thin flounder. Check back in the next few days for part three and the shocking revelations listed below:
-Was the London Tube bombing caused by a bomb or a 50st giant farting?
-Was Osama Bin Laden killed by a US Navy Seal team or sat on by his bodyguard
This and more in the final installment of PM POPE's Fatties revelations.
Please Note - Any fat people that disagree and can untangle their hands from their rolls of gruesome fucking flab can email pmpope16@hotmail.co.uk, please note terms and conditions apply.
People over 40st are not obliged in any way to contact me or my associates and could face criminal prosecution if necessary. Please note your weight when sending any emails, any people suspected of giving bogus measurements will be reported to the Police. Don't worry, your facebook pics will say it all.
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